Monday, August 20, 2012

Modern Music

I don't necessarily dislike the music made today. I dislike most modern covers of classic songs, but that's not really a big deal. I guess my problem is that a song like Stairway to Heaven wouldn't have made the Billboard lists today. Most of these dumpy motherfuckers I saw wandering aimlessly in the mall haven't actually used stairs in years, just the title would put them into a state of shock "wow, that, like seems like a lot of stairs. I don't know if I would go there. I'll just text heaven and we can catch up later at some place with an escalator."

Thursday, August 16, 2012


Paper does not beat rock any anyone who says it does is full of shit. Throw a piece of paper at someone. Now throw a rock. No contest.

Hell, paper couldn't even protect you from rock. If I throw a rock at you and you hold up a piece of paper as a shield the rock will bust right through that paper and smack you in the face.

I will grant you that paper is much easier to write on than a rock, but even that can be done. All the thousands of pages of legislation that Congress passes vs. the ten commandments on some stone tablets. See rock even uses less resources so it's more environmentally friendly.

Paper beats rock, my ass.

Monday, August 13, 2012

When I'm dead

The things that I have put on the Internet in the last five years are mostly things that I would be embarrseed by when I'm dead. Hell, they'll probably be embaressing in another five years.

And why doesn't Facebook have a status for "dead" Not 'deceased', that's too formal, but I hate to imagine that when I'm dead, the last thing I'll have done is put up a picture of a meal and put up some bullshit Yelp review.

So when I'm dead, not before mind you, do go fucking with the natural order of things, but when I'm dead, Internets, you have my permission to hack my Facebook account and change my status to "dead". I don't give a crap. Furthermore, feel free to speak ill of me. I won't care and I'd be dead so I couldn't do anything to you even if I did care.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Election Day

I just finished voting in the primary election.Why is it that being a registered Democrat here feels like it's probably less excitin than being a registered sex offender?  Meh, who am I kdding, it's probably equal. In this state they're pretty much the same thing.

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Hotwiring a NASA rover

I'm glad that NASA could successfully land their new rover on Mars, but what happens when some Martian asshat tries to hotwire that thing?

Can you get a car alarm on a rover? I guess it doesn't matter, nobody listens to those anyway and it would have to be pretty damn loud for any person to hear it.

I guess they could put a lo-jack on it, but good luck getting it back. I bet there's a huge black market for parts in the mad scientist community.

No steering wheel means they can't even put The Club on it. I think there's pretty much fucked. Some cholo Martin is going to have hydros on that thing and be bouncing to the red planet equivalent of La Bamba by tomorrow.