Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Struggle Against Extremism

After the name change from "War on Terror" to "Struggle Against Extremism" I have to wonder whether the US will begin to crack down on all forms of extremism. I mean can we expect X-Games participants to be forced to register with the Department of Homeland Security? Will a 720-no look-oillie be considered an "move of mass extremism"? What about ABC's Extreme Makeover? My bet is that the Home Edition show gets shut down by DHS and that dude with the goatee ends up in Gitmo.

Pussy versus Bombs

So the FBI is now cracking down more on file sharing and internet porn. I don't steal files and the porn I do look at is legal so I couldn't really care less except that for a government fighting a "War on Terror" or "Struggle Against Extremism" or "Group Session Against Temper" or whatever the fuck it is now I'm pretty fucking disturbed by the fact that piracy and pussy are now a higher priority than bombs and terrorists. Why the fuck is vagina more important than Osama?

Handjobs from God

If the Lord helps those who help themselves, can I expect a handjob from God?


I'm come to a realization today since I don't know how much longer I'll be at my job. Without me in there, it's just aweso.

-before I get slammed by people, yes I saw this on a shirt but it was funny and I felt like sharing.

Pope Ralph

Catholics copy each other too often. Like Pope names. This is what now? the Sixteenth Benedict? Seriously, start thinking originally. Go hip. Go Modern. Pope Jimmy or maybe Pope Ralph.

Midwest Insurgency and Violence

So another headline today says "five die in mideast violence." At this point that's not really news. You get that day after day, it's not really news anymore. What would be news is "five people die in midwest violece" where an IED goes off in the small suburban town of Mapleleaf or something and the Sunni insurgency takes responsibility. That would be news. at this point violence in the mideast is about as much news as "......and then we had a cup of coffee."

Tasteless joke of the day

Tastless joke of the day: I overheard a cell phone conversation today which ended with the guy next to me saying "yeah, yeah, I'm on my way, I'll come running." I had to think to myself if I've ever come running before. I've come lyding down, sitting, once even standing on my head, but I've never come running. must be an interesting sensation.


The TSA just announced a potential plan to loosen restrictions on what you can carry onto an airplane. These include razorblades and small knives which I carry anyway so fuck them. But it also includes ice picks and bows and arrows. What the fuck!? What the fuck are you hunting on an airplane that you need to be carrying a bow and arrows in your carry-on luggage? Perhaps the douche with the ice pick can carve you a frozen elk or something to shoot.

Drug Sniffing Dogs

How come drug sniffing dog's aren't stoners? If I were a drug sniffing dog, I'd be a total crack addict. Bundles of weed pass by and I'd direct the handlers to the package next to the one with the weed and while they were busy searching the wrong package I'd be getting high.

Military Base Names

We have all these bad ass names for military aircraft: Raptor, Falcon, and Tomcat. Yet we have the shittiest names for military bases. Pearl sounds is an Asian hooker, Gitmo sounds like a fried southern food.


One of the main theatres for the US military is CENTCOM or Central Command. I would love to see Comedy Central start to market themselves and COMCENT and see how long it takes for the military to either 1) sue them from trademark infringment or 2) invade and overthrow their corporate dictatorship in the search for WMD.

This is the Begining...again.

This is the begining well, rebegining of the site because i set it up under a different username. I'll restore whatever posts I had previously put up.

This is the begining, the begining of our story, the begining, the begining, the begining.