Thursday, August 30, 2018


There was a time that people yelling crazy shit usually meant mental illness, probable substance abuse issues and maybe homelessness. Now it just means somebody gave the President back his phone.

Saturday, August 25, 2018


I very much want to start naming hurricanes after drag queens from now on.

Wednesday, August 22, 2018


Thus far my hurricane preparations have been 1) moving my shoes inside and 2) eat half a gallon of ice cream in the freezer so that it doesn't melt if the power goes out while I'm asleep.


So, as President, you can't be indicted for breaking the federal law that you broke so you could become President...That's pretty slick. I like it.

John Wilkes Booth 4 Vice President 1868!

Tuesday, August 21, 2018


Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera has been endorsed by the Miami Herald for the GOP primary in the 27'th congressional district…/voters-…/article216932145.html

You may have, but probably haven't, because it's Florida and crazy happens there far too often, heard of her because of her claims of being abducted by blond aliens as a child. Aliens with whom she has periodically had telepathic communication.…/miami-d…/article178813586.html

I don't know for sure that we need a Space Force, but I'm willing to give it the benefit of the doubt if we can sell Florida to cover the costs.

Wednesday, August 15, 2018


It's not that I dislike your kids. Most people I don't get to see in real life anyway, so pictures of your kids on social media aren't horrible, but if even a dingo didn't eat your baby, how special can she be, really?