Monday, September 25, 2006

TV Marketing

I don't know who's in charge of placing ads on TV but whoever it is needs to seriously consider a different profession. Manual masturbation of endangered tigers for example, but they certainly suck at what they're doing. You know how I know. I was just watching a rerun of Seinfeld and saw two yeast infection cream commercials and was reminded to "have a happier period."

Now don't for a second think that makes me sexist because I don't want to see commercials about jock itch when I'm trying to watch 24 or commercials about back waxing when I'm watching Battlestar Galactica.

There are just certain things that should only be run as commercials during The View, Dr. Phil and Entertainment Tonight.


So works been kinda crazy lately. Putting in massive hours, living on coffee and cigarettes. Almost like being back in college cramming for a final or a term paper. And let me just say, as someone who has living on just coffee numerous times. that I don't understand the whole of of you pansy ass nimrods who put all kinds of crap in coffee. Coffee is not meant to be Chocolate raspberry surprised or white chocolate and caramello. And you don't put cream and sugar in coffee. These things to not help. They don't keep you awake longer, and they fuck well don't add flavor to coffee. Coffee already has flavor. It fucking tastes like coffee. Stop screwing with it!

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Getting Shot vs. The Mall: Winner -> Getting Shot

I fucking hate the mall. I don't like crowds, I don't like overpaying for shit, I don't like standing in line behind a bunch of fucking people so lost they couldn't fine their way out of luck, let alone out of the fucking Banana Republic. So as I found myself stuck in the Mall today paying $50 for half a subway sandwich and $5 for a little plastic cup filled with mediocre chocolate chip cookies I was pissed off as normal. Now of course my ex, who happened to be the reason I was stuck at the fucking mall (long story, not nearly enough energy or alcohol to go into it) turns to me and says "oh lighten up, I realize you don't like malls but you it doesn't happen that often." You know what bitch, I don't get shot that often either and the fact that it doesn't happen that often doesn't make it okay when I do. The next time some puts a .45 slug in my shoulder, I'm not going to be all fucking cheery and say "ah well, it doesn't happen that often." I'm going to go to the fucking hospital and have to shoot me full of painkillers before they pull a hollowpoint out of my rotator cuff. And in all honesty, from this afternoon, I think I'd rather do that than stand in line behind another douchebag at The GAP.