#BLM

 Hey, how often do you think the people from #BlackLivesMatter prank call Rachel Dolezal?

Disclosure

I mean don’t get me wrong, I care about the tax returns and what they might tell us, but I’m more interested in the day when candidates will be asked to release their browser history.

Thanksgiving

Hey, remember last year when a server configuration bug caused Facebook to go offline for a while?

That was a good day.

Can we do that again this year from like September to Thanksgiving?

Briefing

If Trump's campaign is so afraid to show him the increasingly negative polling, that's an easy fix. Just put it in the PDB. He'll never see it. Or put it in a bible.

Pilot Seasons

Wait, there's seriously a show called "Warrior Nuns", which I presume is somehow about nuns who fight...I don't....pedophile priests? Or evil or some kind? Fucking Christ, anything can get greenlit. I should write a show called Fucking Christ about Jesus in porn.

I have this old thing from high school about some idiot kid and a magical ptarmigan, because I like the name ptarmigan. If Netflix is just handing out deals now, I can turn that two pager into a treatment in like a week, figure a pilot script in like a month. 10 episodes for series 1.

I'll throw in some random facts about Sumner Redstone just so you can stick it to Paramount/Viacom. Did you know the guy who owns CBS had a second wife who was 39 years younger than him (now divorced), and eats through a tube and really likes steak but his caregivers won't let him have any unless he 'conserves his energy' by only having sex once a week, and he won't stop fucking long enough to get steak through a tube.  There's a joke about fucking jesus and tube steak in there, but I'm going to hold it until I get my pilot.

Hamilton

My disappointment with Hamilton isn't with the musical. It's with the audience. You hear a few songs and think you know the depth and breadth of history now. By all means go ahead and watch it, Hamilton is a good musical. But also read the Federalist Papers or maybe a couple of Ron Chernow's books.

The Fall

The fun thing about living in the time of COVID is that you can be having a discussion about what your kid’s plans are in “the fall” and very easily mistake autumn for the total collapse of societal order that would accompany a Trump second term.

Merry Christmas

The formal Declaration of Independence occurred on July 2. The final text, approved on July 4, wasn't signed until Aug. 2, 1776.  Either way, you've got the date wrong.

So Merry Christmas. Because that makes just as much sense, and bonus, there's presents.

Death

If it turns out that in the last few seconds of my life, Judi Dench appears from nowhere wearing a cloak, carrying a scythe and, announces that she is Death come to claim my soul and escort me to the hereafter, I'd be like "Yeah, okay. That fits." Then I'd die.