Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Unanswered Questions

I've bee getting a real kick lately out of listening to the podcasts from the howstuffworks.com website. They're very good and have some great information.

Of course my issue is that they don't necessarily answer all the questions that I want answers to. Like, how come I've never, EVER, see aybody change the bulb in a traffic light? And, if there are humpback whales, are there brokeback whales? if so, how do they have anal sex? And why is a whale penis called a "dork" I thought the dork was the kid in school with the pocket protector. I'm pretty damn sure I was that kid in school and to be honest, I'm not exactly rockin' the whale cock.

Or for that matter, after having just watched two episodes of Friends, how is the fuck was that show not named....or why is there not yet a porn film with Rochelle, Russ, Joel, Mona, Sandler and Debbie (because I have not a fucking for Phoebe)...fuck whas I saying here??? Right, so how is there how the hell was that show NOT named, or why is there no porn flick yet, named ?Friends...With Benefits"? I imagine in the porn world, you could double up on the sitcom parody and hit Married...With Children at the same time. Not that Kelly Bundy needed much imagination to convert to a porn film....wait, I'm fucking digressing here...Okay I think I need to lay off the crack pipe for a bit and just stop asking questions. I'm only getting more confused.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

superheroes

The thing is, Superman can't possibly be fighting for "truth, justice and the American way". The America way includes representation and a trial by jury. Superman doesn't do that. He just beats the crap out of people and destroys half a city with each new issue of the comic. Ditto for your other men, Bat-, Spider-, etc. It's not really like self defense, they initiate the fights, it's essentially assault. I mean yeah, they fight crime, but they do so illegally.

Don't get me wrong, I like Batman in particular, no super powers just a fucking crazy rich guy with toys, but how do you just walk into a prison to visit an inmate dressed in a latex/rubber costume? You can't get an ID in the name of "Batman" and technically, all that lurking on rooftops is trespassing, if not breaking and entering. That's not a basis for "truth, justice ad the American way". Plus he always talks in that creepy, mumbly low voice. Between that voice and the B&E, he's kinda like one of those pedophile priests who thinks everything he's doing is just fine.