Monday, November 27, 2006

Continuation of a tought

One more of the things that I wonder about for no good reason
Do the Foo Fighters actually fight foo?
'cause if they did, would that make them, I don't know, superheros or something? Or maybe evil?
Let's just say for the sake of argument that I go out there every day and fight some foo, would that get me a Presidential Medal of Honor? Or get me listed (again) on a TSA screening list?

Saturday, November 18, 2006


I have a hard time understanding fashion. Don't get me wrong, some of it I like. Victoria's Secret, good stuff. But there are a number of things that confuse me. Men's fashion, for example Calvin Klein, I just don't get. If you're going to spend $20, you'd better get more than one pair of boxers. And when the hell did it become fashionable for straight men to walk around with the name of some other guy plastered across their ass and inside their underwear?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Hand sanitizer and bio-warfare

Okay so the last time I was traveling TSA found me with a small bottle of alcohol based hand-sanitizer. And they took it away of course. But, and here’s the fucking stupid part, according to the lady, if I had put the small bottle of hand sanitizer in a Ziploc bag it would have been okay for me to carry it through. So work with me here. I have to put alcohol based hand sanitizer that kills 99.98% of germs in a Ziploc bag because of the threat of biological weapons? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING CRACK ARE THESE ASSHOLS SMOKING. And seriously now, if I was carrying some bio weapon in a little baggie, what stops me from taking it out of the baggie as soon as I walk past the security checkpoint? Are there random undercover cops going around the airport watching for people who take shit out of Ziploc bags in the terminal? I just….I don’t……I mean really, what the fuck.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

What I think about your life story

At some point I need to gather the skills to tell someone "shut the fuck up and go away." Because honestly, I don't want to hear it. I don't give half a shit about your life story. I don't think it's possible to care any less about whatever the fuck is bothering you. Yet I still had four different people waste 20 minutes of my cell phone minutes and an hour and a half of my time today telling me shit about themselves that I don't give a fuck about.

Not that it frustrates me, just that if I'm telling you I'm in the middle of doing something else, like say, USING A HOT FUCKING IRON don't try to keep me on the phone. End the goddamn conversation like a decent person and go the hell away. I don't care, none of what you say matters to me and no matter how comforting of a voice I may or may not have or how calming of a demeanor I may emit, you're pissing me off. A reasonable person would say "oh, I'm sorry I'm interrupting you, I see I caused you to burn you hand because you're trying to hold a cell phone between your head and your shoulder while I'm telling you shit you couldn't care about. Please excuse my gigantic fucking idiocy and selfishness and let me let you get back to doing what you were doing in the first place." But no, instead you keep prattling on about some such bullshit that matters even less than the sinus infection that giant bug up your ass has.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A Line in the Sand

At some point you have to draw a line in the fucking sand and stop being taken advantage of. When my neighbor comes by asking for two minutes of my time and won't shut the fuck up for an hour and a half, I'm being taken advantage of. when work says I might need to put in some extra hours and the only fucking day I've had off in teh past month is the day I broke my wrist, I'm being taken advantage of. At some point you have to draw a line in the sand and say "fuck no!" But unfortunately, I've been taken advantage of so much, I don't even have the goddamn sand anymore. Someone borrowed it. They're supposed to bring it back tough. And once they do, you can be damn sure. I'm drawing that line right there in that fucking sand....please bring my sand back.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

As close to gay as you can get

Someone asked me today whether or not I was gay, and I have to admit, I'm about as close to gay as you can get without liking the guy on guy butt sex. Which basically means I haven't gotten any play in quite a while.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Work Motto

First Hawaiian Bank used to have a motto that way “Yes you can!”
The company that I work for now, I’m thinking the motto is more along the lines of one of the following:
“Eh, maybe.”
“Well, in theory…..”
“Sure, why not?”
“Well, that’s interesting….”
“We’ll give it a shot.”