Aging

 When I was younger, I aspired to be half as cool as Han Solo.

As I am forced by friends to confront my aging, I've changed, my new career goal is a fully operational Death Star.

Side Effects May Include

 Hey, anybody else who got vaccinated notice that their farts sound like a dial-up modem now? Or is that just me?

Philosophy

 In a real philosophical sense, a personal pan pizza is only limited by the size of the pan.

Superstition

 dude who believes that a cracker and grape juice will save him from going to hell just explained to me that a Chinese superstition about the number four is "stupid" without even the slightest hint of irony.

i give up on all of you.

Also, I'm Banksy

In case anybody asks, I used to be a member of Daft Punk.

Prove me wrong.