Friday, August 20, 2010

Statehood Day

I completely forgot that it's statehood day. 50 is a nice even number for states. Much nicer than 13 lame ass colonies.

Plus we still get to rock the fact that we're still the newest state. Even if the US only got to co-opt the creation of surfing by illegally overthrowing an independant nation.

At least the US overthrowing isn't happening today. I'd have a hard time motivating enough Hawaiians to form a militant insurgency and you can't make an IED from a coconut without it seeming like a joke from a sitcom or a bad Bond movie.

And it's not that I'm anti-America. Far from it. The right to tell my local mayor he looks like a douche, even if he was a White House fellow is a great thing. I just think that we shouldn't be all pretentious about it. I mean China has a global fucking franchise in it's Chinatowns. We have them across the US. But you don't see Americatown all across China. There's no little insulated area in every major metropolitan city with a bunch of fucking rednecks just drinking Coors and getting confused about what particular brand of Asian you are. Granted, Coke, Levi's these are internationally well known names that started in the US, so that's a start. But then BAM, Matthew McConaughey; and you're back to square 1.

Thursday, August 19, 2010


Let's be clear, my antics and actions in our meetings are not "rebellion". I grant you, it's unprofessional and an expression of my utter disdain for being in this enthusiasm sucking beast of an office (well, except for the AC, 'cause let's face it, it is pretty goddamn hot outside); but it's not "rebellion". Rebellion is Luke, Leia, Han and Chewie, fighting the evil Empire. And I don't think you're the Empire. You're not that well organized.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Basic Philosophy

Basic philosophy: if you're going to ask me to spend my time doing something, then I'm not going to half-ass it and do a crappy job. I get that you lazy fucks only want to collect a signature and a commission check, but I don't make any more money based on the fact that you do shitty work, so if that makes me a prick, okay. I'm not doing it half-assed and if that makes me an asswhole I'm fine with that.