Tuesday, April 26, 2011


Why in the world do celebrity perfumes exist. It's not like Sarah Jessica Parker is actually spending time in a chem lab coming up with something new smelling. Who the fuck do you think is being fooled here? Just because P Diddy has a scent doesn't mean the girl I'm sleeping with thinks I'm actually magically transformed into a rich talent black guy. And lets be honest, if Paris Hilton's perform really smelled like Paris Hilton there would be a lot of people walking around with the scent of desperate, week-old fish waiting to be purchased....then again, maybe that's why Chinatown smells the way it does. Lots of fans of Paris Hilton.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Sales Pomeranians

Can I teach our sales people? Sure, but I can teach a terrier to fetch and that would probably be just as useful. So maybe I should just run through the product sets with a Pomeranian just to be safe.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Supposedly, we just hired a new SE. This is good, but I'm not sure how I should play it. Tommy Lee Jones ala Men in Black "I'm not training a partner, I'm training a replacement" or Denzel Washington ala Training Day where I just wreak havoc and chaos. Recommendations? (I mean besides updating my movie references)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Plants vs Zombies

So let me get this straight. If a zombie bites a person, that person turns into another zombie. But if that zombie bites a plant, nothing happens.

Well that's just fucking racist.

Saturday, April 09, 2011


When the zombie apocalypse happens I don't think I'd be worried about people. My greatest fears would be,

1) zombie babies
2) school of zombie sharks
3) zombie cockroaches
4) the return of Ronald Reagan.

Friday, April 01, 2011


Goddamn, I've actually heard enough about Pokemon, the various Emerald and Ruby and White and Black games, and the different characters and gyms and tournaments and shit.

I think I might actually be happier when my son discovers porn. At least then he'll be too busy to tell me about it.