Saturday, March 31, 2018


Because in the kitchen, as in the bedroom, measuring things only leads to disappointment. That's why I didn't follow the recipe. Eat your lunch.

Tuesday, March 20, 2018


someday, someone is going to have to write a history lesson trying to explain the Trump presidency to kids, that person deserves a beer.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Full of Some

Unless you’re the Press Secretary for the White House and you’re completely full of shit, it’s usually better to be full of something than it is to just have ‘some’ of something. It’s nice to have some money, but to have a wallet that’s full; that’s pretty nice. Having some food is much better than being in Syria or the DR Congo or Venezuela and not having any, but having a belly full of saimin when it’s rainy outside, WAY better. I think I made my point. So how come something that’s awesome is better than something that’s awful? I look at that “Earthrise” picture taken from lunar surface I am filled with awe. Completely full of it, in fact. When I see a picture of the Obamas I’m impressed, but mostly just that someone with those ears managed to successfully run such a long con against Michelle. So there’s some awe, but really just a moderate amount. Again, I think I made my point. I’m not saying you’re all doing it wrong, but I will note that one of the grammar rules in English is that you don’t end a sentence with a preposition, and the only reason that rule exists is that back in like the 1700’s, nerds all learned Latin and it is grammatically impossible in Latin, so they just decided to make that a rule in English even though in English that would be perfectly fine. And that’s some bullshit nobody should put up with.

Friday, March 16, 2018


A couple of weeks ago I was sorting through stuff to make a donation to Goodwill and came across an old DVD of the first Blade movie, which I finally got around to popping into a DVD player the other day. How come the vampire movies have so much blood and gore? Vampires drink blood right? That one scene in the warehouse, that's like me deciding to take a shower in clam chowder (insert your own Manhattan clam chowder joke here, you know, because it's the red one, ha...ha...ha...) This makes no sense. I thought vampires were supposed to be all romantic and shit. They're such messy eaters. Nobody watches a toddler throw strained carrots around a table and goes "whoa, that's hot!" unless they're a Catholic priest. You can't walk around in a white shirt with such bad table manners. And it's not like any of them do their own laundry. I simply cannot buy into the premise of a monster that has this little respect tor table manners or dry cleaning.

March Madness

[ ]  These are my brackets. Please stop asking.

Tuesday, March 06, 2018


The chief White House economic advisor resigns, Conway violated the law at least twice (No, I'm not going to start chanting "lock her up" even though I should) and our President is being sued by a porn star. Any other White House this would be a "WTF just happened?!?" day, but now, it's just Tuesday. Wait, it is Tuesday right? I've been losing track of time......

Thursday, March 01, 2018


I know DJT is busy brining back coal and steel and whatever but can he bring back VHS? I recently found this box of old tapes and I kind of want to watch them. There's a copy of Armageddon, the Bruce Willis asteroid flick from the 90's, in here somewhere and I haven't heard that goddamn song in a while. Plus there's a couple in here without labels and I think they might be porn.