Thursday, September 08, 2016


I think I can summarize it this way, why do I believe this generation will doom us? In World War II, Mel Brooks, the guy who gave us Spaceballs, would pop out of a foxhole during the Battle of the Bulge to wire loudspeakers and play songs by Jewish singers at entrenched Nazis. And Apple is “brave” for not adding a headphone jack on the next iPhone. The voice of the young animated deer Bambi, ended up as a Marine drill instructor who won medals after taking multiple combat wounds during the Tet Offensive. If Bambi was a real deer the movie would be an inverted Taken, where the kid hunts down the people who went after his mother. And John Wayne, the stereotype of American strength, became famous for his films because everybody else even more badass was actually fighting in  war. John Fucking Wayne was the pussy of the generation. As modern asymmetric warfare continues to befuddle our smartest military strategists and the kid in front of me couldn't even calculate tip without aid of an app,  I want you to think of this: the idiot lip syncing on that YouTube channel, will one day run this country.

Saturday, September 03, 2016

Earth Friendly

After 2016 Democratic convention: the party that’s supposed to be in favor of environmental protection just ejaculated a metric fuck ton of balloons all over a crowd. I don’t know if those are recyclable.