Sunday, July 30, 2006


I think that by default the Microsoft word spell check dictionary should come with all the bad words. Fuck, Shit, etc. and every derivative thereof. If someone's going to spend the time to put the English language into a dictionary, they shouldn't do it half ass. They should actually include the words that people use. Plus I know that Blogger's spell check always flags swearing as incorrect spelling. So fuck fucktiy fuck fuck fuck.

Battle of the Bands

I think that in a true battle of the bands the winners should be able to random execute one of the losing bands, just to set an example and show the rest of the bands that they're serious. When someone from Bulls Hit pulls out an AR-15 and puts a bullet into the head of the bass player from The Tongues, you know the rest of the bands are going to fall in line. It is after all a fucking battle and you've got to take that seriously.

Plus you just know some crazy fucking is going to go all Jihad on it and try to put a suicide bomber on stage during that fuck awful seven minute drum solo. And really, we should all appreciate that.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Die slowly

So I was walking home and some asshole guns the engine when the light turns green. Starts flying down the street. I shake my head and think, "well that's just dumb, he's going to kill himself." Then I flick the cigarette butt at his car and light another as I walk down the road. At least I'll die later and cost the health insurance companies a buttload of money.


I never really stopped to think, until this morning anyway, about how much cooler monkeys would be if they surfed. Flying monkey's = pretty cool. But SURFING MONKEYS. That's just bad ass.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Golf and Strippers

I was watching highlights from the British Open this morning and after each shot some jackass from the gallery ends up yelling "get in the hole" as loud as he possibly can. First off, that's gotta be somewhat disturbing for Tiger Woods right? I mean every time the guy tees off some asshole starts yelling things at him, but even more disturbing when you think about it, is that "get in the hole" is probably the exact same thing that people yell at strip clubs or Tijuana donkey shows. Which makes Sergio Garcia's "ball striking" little better than that of a pole dancer.