Reality

Okay, I give up. You found us out. Biden is actually a lizard clone and not really the President and this whole fake virus thing was just a way to kill a few million people, crater the global economy and make sure the Jews can inject you with 5G tracking nanites so they can target you with their space laser, while simultaneously giving us the entertainment of making you look silly by wearing a piece of cloth over your face. You're so smart for figuring it all out. Look at how smart you are! Congratulations you. 

If I'm being totally honest here, I was in on the whole thing from the start, mostly just to make you look silly by wearing a piece of cloth over your face. But ya got me! Man, we were this close to pulling the whole thing off, but your keen deduction skills and logic just saw right through it. Can't pull one over on you. Just like you can't pull that cloth over your nose. 

Time Zones

 Working with East Coast support hours from Hawaii - sure I guess, if your shit product comes with a kilo of cocaine.

In Person Events

 Imagine how much more bearable the world would be if they would hold Burning Man in-person, but at an active volcano.

Also Inkjet Printers

Rage Against The Machine never explicitly said it, but they’re named after faxes.

Side Effects

 So far the only side effects I've had from the COVID vaccine are some fat aches. It's like muscle aches, but after a year of sitting at home catching up on TV shows.

Easter

 Physics doesn’t need to take the seventh day off to rest, but sure, ring your bells so your imaginary friend knows you still care.