Saturday, April 30, 2016

On the improper allocation of Empire resources

Aside from the fact that their armor doesn’t seem to protect them against blasters, which sort of defeats the purpose of armor, the thing with Stormtroopers is that they don’t have jetpacks. I mean I know it’s a long time ago in a galaxy far away, but they have starships, flying cars, probably real hoverboards and yet they have no jetpacks. Boba Fett had a jetpack and he was basically the same clone as the rest of them, so for such a bunch of badasses, why no jetpacks? Sure would make it easier to catch someone if you could just fly over deserts instead of having to get sand all up in your shiny white boots. It’s a poor misappropriation of Empire resources that a bunch of world-destroying superlasers get blown up and nobody even gets a jetpack out of it. 

Friday, April 08, 2016

Clicky Ads

blergh, my browser is throwing out a bunch of Hillary and Bernie ads. Look, barring something unpredictably wacky, on the Republican side it's Cruz or Trump, right? I don't care who the Democrats put up. Nominate a llama and I'll vote that way. Nominate a literal Muppet; Janice, that stoner, hippie-chick in the Muppet's band, nominate her and I'll vote that way. The Swedish Chef, I won't even ask for his birth certificate. He's got a better foreign policy background than Trump and he's certainly more likable than Cruz. I miss McCain, he's a eccentric, but by comparison? Point is, don't ask me to support Hillary over Bernie or vice versa, I don't care who it is, I'll take a melted stick of butter over whoever the GOP throws up at this point.

Wednesday, April 06, 2016


I mean yeah, it would probably cool to have a gigabit of Internet access in my living room, but why? Bullshit moving over fiber optic cable at the speed of light is still bullshit...and cat videos.