Bolton

The thing I want to know most from John Bolton is something that I'm pretty sure is nowhere in his book - what's the weirdest thing you've ever found in your mustache?

I'm putting my money on 2/3 of a Venezuelan immigrant family.

Binders full of women

Nobody else gets a little chuckle out of Joe Biden picking a VP from literal binders full of women?

Trivia

I’m a fan of trivia. You know it’s a school of fish or a gaggle geese? A group of apes is a shrewdness, a group of giraffes is a tower and a group of Republican Senators is a fucking coward. Each and every one of them.

NFL

What if we compromise on this NFL thing? What if we make the Patriots sign Kaepernick? Kaepernick get's a job, but he goes to fucking New England. I'd call that a win-win.

Cops

The sad irony of the TV show Cops getting canceled is that video was probably more reliable than police body cam footage.