What I think about your life story

At some point I need to gather the skills to tell someone "shut the fuck up and go away." Because honestly, I don't want to hear it. I don't give half a shit about your life story. I don't think it's possible to care any less about whatever the fuck is bothering you. Yet I still had four different people waste 20 minutes of my cell phone minutes and an hour and a half of my time today telling me shit about themselves that I don't give a fuck about.

Not that it frustrates me, just that if I'm telling you I'm in the middle of doing something else, like say, USING A HOT FUCKING IRON don't try to keep me on the phone. End the goddamn conversation like a decent person and go the hell away. I don't care, none of what you say matters to me and no matter how comforting of a voice I may or may not have or how calming of a demeanor I may emit, you're pissing me off. A reasonable person would say "oh, I'm sorry I'm interrupting you, I see I caused you to burn you hand because you're trying to hold a cell phone between your head and your shoulder while I'm telling you shit you couldn't care about. Please excuse my gigantic fucking idiocy and selfishness and let me let you get back to doing what you were doing in the first place." But no, instead you keep prattling on about some such bullshit that matters even less than the sinus infection that giant bug up your ass has.