Patriotism

And so I say now into you, ask not what your country can do for you, but what jackass decided that "vegetarian" is a valid type of sandwich. Vegetables in bread don't make a sandwich they make a fraud.

Aw shit, I'm turning into Trump...

Custodial work

It's a little disingenuous to say that can't kill all of us. Of course they can. It's just a lot of clean up afterwards and they don't like to clean up the messes they make.

Exploration

Does anybody else find it a bit of a coincidence that NASA finds 7 new Earth-sized, potentially habitable planets in the first month of the Trump Presidency?

The Tonys

Google confirms that I was wrong, but I have to ask then, how is "jazziest hands" not one of the awards they give at the Tonys?

Backup Careers

Not as a comment on his music, but more a question as a parent, do you think his parents still hold onto the idea of a backup career like Chance the Architect or Chance the Electrician?

Development

Okay, yeah but seriously, we stand on the precipice of self-driving cars, and humans stepping foot on another planet. We can do genetic modification down the base pair with CRISPR. We can 3D print everything from children’s toys to working firearms. We can make life-threatening diseases a chronic nuisance and in some cases cure them outright, we can split the atom and then bang subatomic particles together, we can gaze the heavens and use the light from distant stars to see backwards in time. Still, the best you can do is fucking shoelaces? A technology we’ve had since like the 12’th century? Seriously? Fuck you humanity, fuck you hard. 

Voice Recognition

Amazon screwed up and missed out on a great opportunity. Alexa, Alexis, Alex, all fairly common names that can easily confuse the fancy new NSA listening post you bought. Google made it so their's can respond to “computer” like in Star Trek. Amazon should take it the last step forward and let you program whatever you like. Doesn't it make sense that every time you cringe and yell out “Oh for Christ’s sake what the fuck is Trump doing now!?” Amazon automatically sends you another bottle of scotch?

geography

Not to nitpick but technically, the area of Ka Lae on the Big Island of Hawaii is the Southernmost point of the US and if we're going to be building a wall along the Southern border, it doesn't have to be so much tall as it does saltwater and lava proof.

But I do have to agree illegal immigration is a problem, it would be nice if the Americans would GTFO.

So....that's a thing now.

https://trumpsingles.com – this is a thing now? I guess so. On the one hand I kind of want to know if this makes it easier or more difficult to try and hate-fuck a Trump supporter. On the other hand most dating apps do to dating what Kraft Singles did to cheese so maybe I’ll pass.

It’s like with Twitter. On the one hand, I want to yell at the Internet for not pwning Trump’s Twitter account yet, but I have to imagine somebody’s got it and it’s just hard to come up with something to say that’s more batshit than what he’s actually Tweeting, so instead I just get mad at Twitter for not upholding its own rules on content.