Thursday, April 23, 2009

Stream of Conciousness on Microsoft Vista

ok, you sonsafucking assholes at microsoft...look i fucking get it. Vista is pretty and yay, i can play voice-activated minesweeper, but you just broke like two-third of my pen-testing software and now my new hotness laptop is going to have to go back and run WinXP pro...and what the fuck is with these like 15 different versions of Vista. I mean for fucks sake, you're software people you know that choices just lead to confusion and pissed off customers. People think they want choice but they don't. Go read Barry Schwartz's The Pradox of Choice. Any why is this thing so goddamn slow. i just patched everything, I have 3 Gb of RAM in this mother and my crap XP machine that I haven't rebooted in over a week and haven't defragmented in over a year runs like it's on methamphetamines. This is a brand fucking new machine and it's working like a stoner who's too lazy to get up and order a fucking pizza. And yeah, okay so I can go in and disable all the fancy visual effects and shit, which I did, but seriously guys, you designed this fucking beast of an OS, you already know what tweaks need to be made, setting page file sizes, network tweaks, etc. I mean you're supposed to be fucking geniuses at this by now. I should be able to click a button that says "make this suck less" and it should, you know, SUCK LESS.

then again on the plus side, voice activated minesweeper.

Of course then you have windows 7...oh! oh! and that's the other fucking thing. So there was windows 3 right? I had that one on my first laptop, windows 3.11 for workgroups. Okay so that was back in 1994/1995 then we had windows 95, then we had windows 98 then we had windows ME...and for those of you keeping track, that's up to 6 versions of windows right? I mean unless we just don't count WinME because lets face it, that giant pile of shit was fucking horrible. Okay so then you had Windows 2000 then you had Windows XP and then you had Windows Vista. Now look, I do fucking calculus in my head and by my count we passed seven versions of windows back after 2000 and I'm not really counting WinNT here, so what fucking math genius decided that the NEXT version of windows was version 7? Is this some kind of accounting fuck up? Did Microsoft buy a bunch of CDO's or something? Or is this just some marketing bullshit because Steve fucking Ballmer thinks we can't count? This is not some funy little programmer bullshit like arrays start at index 0, this is like Mircosoft fucking lying to me. And the way I figure either they lied to me back in 1994 or they're lying to me and and in either case I do not motherfucking appreciated it. If I want to be talked down to by someone I will explain to the ex girlfriend how I'm self medicating for my shoulder again. I don't need to be talked down to by a company who's best software is a tie between notepad and minesweeper. Buncha fucking...and what is this Windows Mobile bullshit? Do I need this on my cell phone too now? I like my cell phone. It makes phone calls occasionally it takes pictures when I forget my camera and need to remember the circuit ID on a backboard. Other than that it doesn't do fancy shit. I like that. It does not have to be rebooted every month on a Tues. because some asshat in fucking Slovakia found a problem that was caused because a six figure salaried programmer couldn't be bothered to do proper memory randomization and heap management.

All that said, Steve Jobs and his Macs can suck my balls


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