Thursday, March 19, 2009

Women's clothes are stretchy

So the ex girlfriend moved to SoCal and now I'm left to go through the stuff she left and figure out what to do with it. What I realize though about this stuff, chick clothes are stretchy. My clothes are nowhere near that stretchy. The only thing not stretchy - denim shorts. It's really amusing. Or I'm just too easily amused. Whatever.

I'm serious though, my shirts, even like my polo shirts, they don't stretch that much. I mean I get it, gotta deal with the boob variable, but still it's weird. My dress shirts do NOT stretch like that. I mean there's a serious difference in men's and women's clothing and I think it's a conspiracy to confuse men when they try to determine clothing sizes for gifts.

Yeah, yeah, laugh, but you just know I'm right. Women's clothes are designed stretchy so that when I buy the M instead of the S I don't get a "thank you" I get a "gee, you don't know my size by now? Do I look fat today?" It's all a way to mess with men's brains. And women, you need to knock it the fuck off. We don't have many brain cells and what little we do have needs to go to important thoughts like the NCAA championships and hand eye coordination so we can maintain superiority over our children in Ski-ball. Male hereditary dominance is determined by Ski-ball dammit; by tricking us with your magically stretchy clothing you are potentially risking clan leadership and that is not a good thing.


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