Monday, March 16, 2009


Here's the thing about weddings that I don't really like. It's basically a celebration of two people fucking. And to be clear I'm not one of the two people so, why would should I celebrate?

I mean lets start off with the fact that it's a marriage. You're celebrating two people comitting to only fucking each other for the rest of their lives. That's not cause for celebration. That's cause for alcoholism. And also the cause of probably like half the porn industry.

But beyond that, unless you can score a drunk bridesmaid, chances are you're not going to be among two people fucking, so what's there to celebrate? In fact the only people gauranteed to get laid on the night of a marriage, are the people getting married; and I don't want to celebrate someone else getting laid. And I certaily on't want to have to walk around in a Bed Bath and Beyond for and hour and half to find soemthing on a registry that's only affordable if you're a Saudi prince.


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