Monday, November 14, 2016

Dog Name

My kid's friend just got a new dog. Named it Jupiter 'because Pluto was taken.' I apologize in advance, but this is going to be a thing now; I think that dog should have been named Uranus. That's a much better name for a dog if you're going with planets.
...yes, I am twelve years old.
Tell Uranus to get off the couch
Uranus keeps itching, must have fleas
Aw, Uranus is so cute
Man Uranus is really thirsty, when was the last time you gave him water?
If you're going for a walk, don't forget to put Uranus on a leash
Does Uranus get scared of fireworks?
Stop feeding Uranus people food!
Uranus keeps eating the flowers!
Don't let Uranus get the cat
When was the last time you gave Uranus a bath?
Uranus smells weird
Uranus really likes those avocados.
The next time he does that, you smack Uranus with a rolled up newspaper
It's not my fault, blame Uranus
I'm sorry, he's just too old. We're going to have to put Uranus down.
Uranus has worms
Is Uranus housebroken yet?
Did Uranus get into the garbage again?
So, how old is Uranus?
Uranus chewed up all my slippers
Uranus ate my homework
Does Uranus do any tricks? Sit, speak, beg?
Uranus is making weird noises
I like how you keep putting pictures of Uranus on Facebook
Chocolate is bad for Uranus
Let's use a picture of Uranus for our Christmas card this year
 That other dog keeps sniffing around Uranus.
No, I’m telling you, take a hit from that bong, blow it right up in there and you can get Uranus high as fuck.


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