Elections and Pussy

No, I didn’t watch the debate today. First of all, if something important enough happens I’ll hear about it elsewhere, it’s not a sporting event, I don’t need to see it live. Hell, by the time I post this, my Facebook trending “news” feed will probably have one-line commentary about who one and who lost, despite the fact that in this election, we all lose. More importantly, I’m not undecided. I’ve decided. I decided and I honestly can’t think of what would make me change my mind. I mean at this point, Hillary Clinton could admit that in her deleted emails was proof that she was responsible for hacking Jennifer Lawrence’s photos, I wouldn’t give a fuck. Clinton could, at this point, admit to nearly anything short of a capital offense and it wouldn’t make a difference to me. Bill claims he didn’t inhale, Hillary could step on stage with a blunt in one hand and a loaded, unregistered Glock 19 in the other, and I’m fine with it. So no, I’m not undecided and I’m not going to learn anything more from this second debate.

In fact, if Hillary want’s to answer every question in the third debate by just saying the word “pussy” over and over again, I’m fine with that.

How do you plan on dealing with health care inflation stemming from lack of a public option in Obamacare? “Pussy”.

How should the United State react to continued violence and collateral damage in Yemen? “Pussy. Pussy, pussy pussy.”

My vote remains the same. Even if Trump does the smart thing for the party and jumps off a tall building bearing his name, the likely replacement is Mike Pence, a man whose actions at the state level in areas of reproductive rights specifically and health care in general would be a great leap forward – in solving for overpopulation. Let alone economic policies that show a lack of nuance necessary for international trade.

Can I imagine a situation in which I wouldn’t vote for Hillary? Sure. If, in the middle of the third debate, she sacrificed three people on a blood altar to Satan, I would definitely have reservations. I would want to know if they were Trump voters from a swing state before I made up my mind, but I would have questions. And if she sacrificed a kitten, I’d vote for Gary Johnston…Johnson? Whatever that guy’s name is. Fuck I miss John McCain.