Saturday, July 30, 2016

Sadistic Twister

Given the shape I’m in, which is basically “eggplant”, this is going to come across as a complaint, but it’s not; someone explain to me how “spin instructor” is a thing? You’re not spinning, you’re biking. And it’s a stationary bike, so it’s not like you need someone to lead you on a particular route. And "instructor" implies teaching of some sort but you’re already expected to know how to ride a bike before you walk in the door. Also, let’s be clear, if you don’t know how to ride a stationary bike, you probably have some other problems to work through first, like breathing or not drooling like an idiot. So really that job of “spin instructor” is just about yelling at people and you don’t need to be in shape to do that. Find a retired drill sergeant. You can give a vet a job and free up the hot lady to do more yoga, which is something you actually need to instruct people on because remembering those poses is like some sadists version of Twister.


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