Saturday, July 23, 2016

My Search History

Okay, look, I'm pretty much neutral on porn. I'm at a loss to name more than like one or two porn stars. Sasha Grey/Gray (spelling?) is the only one off the top of my head, there was another one from a while back who was in Mensa…anyway, not a huge fan, but I’m not really opposed to it.  Thing is, something in my search / browsing habits is fucking with my Google results because I just went to pull up the "BBC" for coverage of the attacks in Germany and holy fuck was there a lot of, well, fuck is pretty much the appropriate term there. I mean, something is screwed up here, because my search results have things that are screwed up, down, upside-down, sideways and, in pretty much every position and orifice possible. I get the acronymic usage of “BBC” but I thought Google was supposed to be the all-knowing God of the interwebs when it comes to my habits. What the hell in my search history is distorting my relevance results? Have I called Trump a cunt like a hundred too many times? Referred to Putin as a gigantic dick too often on Twitter? To quote the great thinker of my generation, Buffy the Vampire Slayer – ‘splainy?

I've had a couple of hours to calm down about this now, and you know what? I'm still a little annoyed, and after those search results, just feeling a little...little. I don't think you can just appropriate the "BBC" acronym like that. And okay fine, look at my picture and you might suspect that's a racist statement. It's not. It's a precedence thing. The World Service has been delivering me the news for way longer than Shaq's dong...I mean a few years. And they've been doing it in that haughty accent and pretentious tone of voice that makes me believe it's the 12 inches...I mean truth. On the other hand, the British were kind of big fans of slavery there for a while, so maybe it's a little less unfair?


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