thought of the day 2009 08 31 - I'm sorry
I have previous stated that Dane Cook is not funny. I'm sorry. Having been forced, under penalty of no phone sex to listen to all of his published material, I recant my statement. Dane Cook was funny, for a total of about eight minutes of jokes during which there was 15 seconds of punchline and like 23 seconds of chuckles.
He has exactly two funny jokes. One is about playing games like Call of Duty and how his Dad was in WWII and lived call of duty...except that his dad wasn't actually in WWII, he was in Korea. That was mildly amusing. Not so amusing that I can remember the punchline now, as I write this, but you know, chuckles were had. I mean it too long to get to the point of the fucking joke and when it takes 8 minutes of lead in I expect it to either be some really, really deep shit or it had better be a DAMN funny joke, but it make me smile which is more than I can say for most of his material. Second he has the joke about the needy kids on TV and how they need to replace the kindly looking old guy with some angry guy in a leather jacket who fucking yells at you because you're a selfish fuck who doesn't want to give 15 cents to help a needy kid. That made me laugh. For 14 seconds. I actually vocalized a laugh. It was memorable enough that I timed it. That, i will admit was funny.
Other than that, totally not funny. Su-Fi? really? George Carlin would have given Dane Cook a Cleveland Steamer for that sufi bullshit. The "Have you ever seen a mannequin you wanted to fuck" bit? Bill Hicks would take the mannequin and use it to anally fist Dane Cook. I'm fairly sure he would succeed in showing the whole head in there. I'm sorry but he he is exactly 23 seconds of mild giggles and some snickering and that's pretty much it. BUT, I was wrong, for 23 seconds, he was funny. So, I apologize.
He has exactly two funny jokes. One is about playing games like Call of Duty and how his Dad was in WWII and lived call of duty...except that his dad wasn't actually in WWII, he was in Korea. That was mildly amusing. Not so amusing that I can remember the punchline now, as I write this, but you know, chuckles were had. I mean it too long to get to the point of the fucking joke and when it takes 8 minutes of lead in I expect it to either be some really, really deep shit or it had better be a DAMN funny joke, but it make me smile which is more than I can say for most of his material. Second he has the joke about the needy kids on TV and how they need to replace the kindly looking old guy with some angry guy in a leather jacket who fucking yells at you because you're a selfish fuck who doesn't want to give 15 cents to help a needy kid. That made me laugh. For 14 seconds. I actually vocalized a laugh. It was memorable enough that I timed it. That, i will admit was funny.
Other than that, totally not funny. Su-Fi? really? George Carlin would have given Dane Cook a Cleveland Steamer for that sufi bullshit. The "Have you ever seen a mannequin you wanted to fuck" bit? Bill Hicks would take the mannequin and use it to anally fist Dane Cook. I'm fairly sure he would succeed in showing the whole head in there. I'm sorry but he he is exactly 23 seconds of mild giggles and some snickering and that's pretty much it. BUT, I was wrong, for 23 seconds, he was funny. So, I apologize.
posted by rpalmeira at 3:25 AM
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