thought of the day 2009 08 29 - I think I might be coming down with something
I was coughing some this afternoon and I am now officially never going to get sick again. I have no fucking clue how to buy cough syrup anymore. Jesus fucking Christ, I'm going to sound old, but I recall a time where there was cough syrup. You could choose between grape or cherry and that was pretty much fucking that. Adults would get the menthol halls, kids would get the cherry syrup. Done. Fucking done. Alright so you could choose between Robitussin or Dimetapp and the adults might get Sudafed instead of Halls. Now it's a fucking mess.
Sudafed isn't Sudafed because people use it to make meth so the active ingredient, pseudoephedrine can't even be used anymore. Do you know what pseudo means? It means false, break down the name of the active ingredient, it means false or fake ephedrine. This was replaced with a new decongestant, what the fuck? You're now giving me fake fake ephedrine? I am not fucking amused. I love Sudafed it knocks my ass unconscious I wake up some time later with what might be described as a form of short term lacular amnesia and I'm done. Now I take 15 fucking tablets and I still feel like shit.
Okay so on top of getting fake drugs, I can't even decide what fake drugs to get because I don't understand what half these products are. When did "extra strength" become the norm? What if I just want normal strength? Do they even have that anymore? Or do I just try to OD on the childrens' stuff?
There's long lasting or fast acting, over the counter, extra strength, maximum strength, PE, DM, fucking acronyms I'm sure even the people who make the shit don't know...I WANT THE ONE THAT FUCKING WORKS. I WANT THE LITTLE FUCKING BOX OF PILLS THAT WILL MAKE IT SO THAT WHEN I WALK AROUND IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A SURLY CONSTRUCTION WORKER IS JACKHAMMERING THROUGH MY FUCKING SKULL WHILE A PUERTO RICAN GAY GUY SINGS SHOW TUNES AT ME THROUGH MY PANCREAS. How difficult can this be? Choice is an evil, evil fucking thing.
Oh and I have to say, some marketing douche needs to check his adjectives. Turns out the Extra Strength stuff had more (in grams) of the same active ingredients than the maximum strength. I beg to fucking differ, you might have extra but if I've got the maximum that should be as much of the fucking painkillers as is possible under the laws of physics for you to cram in there. Fuck the FDA, if the FDA was so concerned they'd be regulating you better. No my marketing friend, "extra" should not have more than "maximum". You know how I can prove it to you? Next time you step in an elevator try this. Say the elevator is designed to hold about 8 people. Go ahead and put a ninth person in there. That's extra. Now say the elevator is designed to hold a maximum of 1800 lbs. Here hold my elephant for me. Now fall you rat fuck. Fall like the little corporate monkey you are, trying to tell me that you've reached the maximum when there's a different product out with the same brand name that has more stuff in it.
Sadly, of all the different ones I saw the only active ingredient I know of off the top of my head was DXM, dextromethorophan, which is actually a mild form of hallucinogenic in the right quantities. I need to down the whole fucking package of those and just let my Indian spirit guide tell me which meds to get.
Sudafed isn't Sudafed because people use it to make meth so the active ingredient, pseudoephedrine can't even be used anymore. Do you know what pseudo means? It means false, break down the name of the active ingredient, it means false or fake ephedrine. This was replaced with a new decongestant, what the fuck? You're now giving me fake fake ephedrine? I am not fucking amused. I love Sudafed it knocks my ass unconscious I wake up some time later with what might be described as a form of short term lacular amnesia and I'm done. Now I take 15 fucking tablets and I still feel like shit.
Okay so on top of getting fake drugs, I can't even decide what fake drugs to get because I don't understand what half these products are. When did "extra strength" become the norm? What if I just want normal strength? Do they even have that anymore? Or do I just try to OD on the childrens' stuff?
There's long lasting or fast acting, over the counter, extra strength, maximum strength, PE, DM, fucking acronyms I'm sure even the people who make the shit don't know...I WANT THE ONE THAT FUCKING WORKS. I WANT THE LITTLE FUCKING BOX OF PILLS THAT WILL MAKE IT SO THAT WHEN I WALK AROUND IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE A SURLY CONSTRUCTION WORKER IS JACKHAMMERING THROUGH MY FUCKING SKULL WHILE A PUERTO RICAN GAY GUY SINGS SHOW TUNES AT ME THROUGH MY PANCREAS. How difficult can this be? Choice is an evil, evil fucking thing.
Oh and I have to say, some marketing douche needs to check his adjectives. Turns out the Extra Strength stuff had more (in grams) of the same active ingredients than the maximum strength. I beg to fucking differ, you might have extra but if I've got the maximum that should be as much of the fucking painkillers as is possible under the laws of physics for you to cram in there. Fuck the FDA, if the FDA was so concerned they'd be regulating you better. No my marketing friend, "extra" should not have more than "maximum". You know how I can prove it to you? Next time you step in an elevator try this. Say the elevator is designed to hold about 8 people. Go ahead and put a ninth person in there. That's extra. Now say the elevator is designed to hold a maximum of 1800 lbs. Here hold my elephant for me. Now fall you rat fuck. Fall like the little corporate monkey you are, trying to tell me that you've reached the maximum when there's a different product out with the same brand name that has more stuff in it.
Sadly, of all the different ones I saw the only active ingredient I know of off the top of my head was DXM, dextromethorophan, which is actually a mild form of hallucinogenic in the right quantities. I need to down the whole fucking package of those and just let my Indian spirit guide tell me which meds to get.
posted by rpalmeira at 2:23 AM
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