Tuesday, May 12, 2009

thought of the day 2009 05 15 - Martinis

I usually drink scotch but last night I went out with a classmate who was back in town and had a lychee martini. 1) any fruit based martini is now officially a chick drink. Don't get me wrong, I could probably get a good buzz going but it was definitely a chick drink. B) and more importantly, what asshole invented the martini glass? Was this thing purposely designed for you not to be able to drink from it properly?

Wine glasses, highballs, these are glasses designed for drinking out of, you can actually tilt the fucking thing without spilling part of the drink. Now I know you're supposed to sip a martini but seriously, how are you supposed to be able to sip it without tilting the fucking glass? it's like the only way to drink from the fucking glass is to imitate a bird and act like you're trying to catch a fish from a pond. This is just goddamn absurd.

Oh and incidentally all you James Bond fans can suck it. A martini should be made stirred not shaken. When it's shaken it fucks with the gin. Plus it breaks the ice into smaller bits so it melts faster. So Mr. Bond was being all badass but watering down his drinks and making the gin taste like crap.

I think the next time I get a martini I'm going to ask that the bartender pour the fucking drink into a highball so I can actually drink it instead of spill half of it on my shirt.


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