Thursday, September 04, 2008

Why Sprint PCS is a giant pile of shit

1. i was on hold for a total of 32 minutes while I was in conversations for less than 8 minutes. This is just shit customer service. And let me also say that when I get an ACD system that asks me what I'm calling for it annoys me.

ACD: "what are you calling about?"
Me: "To speak to a customer service representative."
ACD: "Okay, let me get you a representative. What are you calling to talk to a representative about?"
Me: "I'm calling to talk to a customer service representative about none your fucking business you goddamn machine. I'm calling to talk to a representative about talking to a representative and that's all you need to know you mindless fucking automated distribution system. Connect me to a motherfucking service Representative."
ACD: "please hold for the next available customer service representative. Based on current call volume you wait time will be 4-5 minutes."

It was just shy of 12 minutes. The goddamn Sprint ACD system is worse than the Internet Explorer download progress window. Then every question I had the call center monkey had to have me hold while she "checked her tools", which means even more time on hold.

2. I had three questions. First off is there a way for me to send voicemail messages to an email address. This for of unified messaging is fairly common now. The telco I work for offers it. Sprint PCS doesn't. But I can get the latest Beyonce track as a ring tone so fucking yay! Second, is there a way for me to save or download a voicemail message to my computer or at least save it outside of the Sprint voicemail system? I have a message from Ryen wishing me a happy birthday that I'd like to save and apparently I can't do that. I can keep hitting 9 in the voicemail options to save the message but I can't take out of that system. And the system only holds 30 messages. Those can be 4 minute messages or 4 second messages, doesn't fucking matter, I'm limited to 30 of them. This licks balls. So now I'm relegated to hooking up a headset and splicing in an RCA cable so that I can record directly to the input on my digital voice recording. So to save a fucking message, Sprint is making me break out the solder gun. The third question I had goes to customer loyal and business loyalty to their customers.

3. I have been with Sprint since 1999. It was the first cell provider I had back in LA. It remained my provider when I moved back to Hawaii. I have dealt with roaming fees, 10 cent per minute calling and all sorts of other horse shit. I rarely use SMS messaging. I'm not a texting kind of person. I use phones I use email. They're two distinct things, stop trying to fucking add everything onto a phone. BUT, that said, I get maybe 4 SMS messages each month and they cost 20 cents each. Now I could sign up for a plan for 300 text messages a month for 5 bucks. And please note the steep difference there. If I don't have the plan it's 20 cents each so 25 text messages costs means I get charged the same as if I had the plan for 300. This is fucking ridiculous. It doesn't cost Sprint anything more to send me messages. It's already built onto their network which I have been loyal to for nearly a decade. So I ask if there's a way they can comp me like 10 messages a month. Seriously I have yet to go over 6 messages and it costs them less than a penny to actually deliver these to me, but they can't give me 10 fucking messages a month so I can shave a couple of bucks off my bill? This is not customer friendly. And yeah, I understand its a paid service. blah blah, woof woof. It's not like I'm asking for additional minutes or even a percentage discount on my bill, which by the way will most certainly come up the next time I have to renew my contract. I'm asking for 10 fucking messages a month so that I don't go over my typical budget of $50 on my cell bill.

so let's sum it up
1. service sucks
2. features suck
3. voicemail is a sham and it sucks
4. customer service does nothing to help me and puts me on hold for nearly half an hour to tell me that they can't do anything
5. And the battery in my phone holds charge like my ex holds a steady job. Which is to say, not at fucking all.

Sprint, you can lick my balls.


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