Monday, November 28, 2016

Superpowers and Holidays

It turns out that I spent a good portion of this past weekend trying to figure out if there was a best holiday to have superpowers. I had a lot of free time. Obviously if you’re Superman, the heat vision, cold breath and super speed make the meal prep for Thanksgiving easier, and the flying means you get to bypass airport security, which is always a plus. I bet that guy doesn’t even own a microwave oven. But pretty much anybody else, it’s basically a wash. Sure if you’re Spiderman, you get the strength and stickiness that makes it easy to carry a metric shit ton of Christmas presents in one go, but if you’re traveling to visit people who aren’t in a city, the swinging on webs doesn’t do you anything and really that costume isn’t antibacterial so you’re much more likely to catch a cold being out in shitty weather. Captain Planet on Earth Day maybe? But it's not like he would get credit for anything. It'd be more about complaining that he's not doing enough the rest of the year. Best I could come up with is being Captain America on Veteran’s Day, but only when he’s got Tinder on his phone.


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