Sunday, June 21, 2015

Today is a holiday in Canada

Obligatory Happy Father's Day message aside, this has kind of got to suck for other holidays. Technically today was also International Yoga Day. I guess in theory, you could combine the two and take your dad to yoga class with you. If it's full of women in shorts, that would probably go over as well as, if not better than, any kind of lame-ass tie, or whatever else you got your dad at the last minute because mom reminded you on Friday.

But it was also Go Skateboarding Day and unless your dad is Tony Hawk, getting your dad on a skateboard is probably just a way to try and get on America's Funniest Home Videos. Okay wait, is that show even on anymore? Probably not, that's basically YouTube, right? Nobody's going to give you $10,000 on YouTube. Fuck that's an old reference though. I feel old now. Guess that's also part of being a dad.

It's also National Aboriginal Day if you're in Canada. Though if you could be anywhere else at all, from a cardboard box on the streets of Mogadishu to the back of your crack dealer’s van in Rio, I bet you wouldn’t be in Canada. So imagine that you're an aboriginal in the great white north and you get one day of recognition each year where your protests over poor treatment and government abuse might get some news coverage. Instead, you get pushed out of every news cycle by the same lame human-interest Father's Day stories that have been covered for years in Montreal or...or...shit, I can't think of any other cities in Canada. Vancouver? That's in Canada right? Or Washington State? Whatever, close enough. What was I saying, something about Canada right? God I don't know why we let you be a country?!?!

It's also International Surfing Day, which is something dad might like, or at least something I might like. But does that get any coverage today? Nope. Dammit fathers, stop hogging all the attention.


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