Single

I think it’s a little unfair how people in relationships get to tell stories about how they met but single people don’t really get to tell stories about how they’re single. Like the story of how you were dating someone until you realized that she had some kind of multiple personality disorder and all of those personalities were crazy. Or the story of how you decided that instead of going to the bar or to the club, you took a nap. And oh, how glorious of a nap it was. Or the story of how your husband gave you herpes five years after you got married. Actually I get the feeling that last story you might get to tell. At the very least to a family court judge and to your friends over a large pitcher of sangria after the papers are signed.