Saturday, June 13, 2015

Ted's Disease

Dyslexic isn’t really a very easy word to spell. And if you happen to be dyslexic you’re probably not all that great at spelling to begin with so really you’re just adding insult to, well, not exactly injury, but still. They should make it Ted’s Disease. There must be a least one dyslexic out there named Ted. And doesn't he deserve some recognition of the difficulty of living with Ted's Disease? Lou Gehrig has his own disease. Huntington’s, Parkinson’s; Ted’s Disease is much easier to spell than any of those. So they should call it Ted’s Disease. Well, except it’s not really a disease. And “disease” isn’t really that easy to spell either. It’s shorter than the word “syndrome”, though I don’t know if that necessarily makes it easier to spell. Plus it’s only shorter by one letter so it’s not like it would save you a ton of time if you were tying it out. Or even worse, writing it out longhand. I guess I’m at a loss then, not really sure what to call it. We’re kinda fucked. Maybe that’s what they should call it. Ted’s Fucked. It would be a great inspiration for all the eighth graders who can’t spell the word "eighth", “Timmy, can you please read from page 4?”….”Sorry miss, I can’t read well, I’ve got Ted’s Fucked.”


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