Wheel of Fortune
So I had the TV on last night while washing dishes and Wheel of Fortune was on...it was still on. I remember spending summers at my grandparents as a kid watching that and now, as back then, it was Pat and Vanna. How fucking crazy is that career?
The entire watching that show two things went through my head. First, time has been kind to Vanna White. And second, by comparison, my job sucks ball. You can fucking bet Vanna doesn't have to deal with vendor shipping delays, configuration errors, fiber cuts and service outages or any of the other shit I do. I would get a fucking sex change and plastic surgery if I had a shot at getting that job. She doesn't even have to know the answers to the puzzles. You walk back and forth and touch glowing letters. She's not even turning them anymore, just tapping them like a giant fucking iPad with cash prizes.
And granted, it's probably not that easy to walk in heels or have to daily tolerate bad jokes from Pat, but every day I sit in my office trying to verify part numbers and switch configuration to trace call flows and network packet traces, I'm more and more jealous. I could so do that job. I could do that job drunk. Stash a flask of something and take a swig when the camera pans away to the contestants. I might stumble between tapping those letters, but I would still fucking rock that job.
What must the job interview for that have been like? Can you walk back and forth? Do you know the alphabet? Can you use your arms? We're good here. You start Monday.
Though you know, as I think about it, I have to admit, I don't know if I could have had Vanna's attendance record. I've never seen her with the flu, flipping a letter with a used kleenex, or injured, back and forth across the stage on crutches. If I had a schedule like that I'd have to imagine that with that kind of free time I'd get into some shit and have to miss a taping because I couldn't make bail.
Still, how fucking awesome would it be to have that job? I mean even by comparison, Alex Trebek didn't know all those answers but he did stil have to come across as smart. Doubly so because he's Canadian, and that shit takes effort. But pacing back and forth, tapping letters and clapping, I need to find a way to get that fucking gig.
The entire watching that show two things went through my head. First, time has been kind to Vanna White. And second, by comparison, my job sucks ball. You can fucking bet Vanna doesn't have to deal with vendor shipping delays, configuration errors, fiber cuts and service outages or any of the other shit I do. I would get a fucking sex change and plastic surgery if I had a shot at getting that job. She doesn't even have to know the answers to the puzzles. You walk back and forth and touch glowing letters. She's not even turning them anymore, just tapping them like a giant fucking iPad with cash prizes.
And granted, it's probably not that easy to walk in heels or have to daily tolerate bad jokes from Pat, but every day I sit in my office trying to verify part numbers and switch configuration to trace call flows and network packet traces, I'm more and more jealous. I could so do that job. I could do that job drunk. Stash a flask of something and take a swig when the camera pans away to the contestants. I might stumble between tapping those letters, but I would still fucking rock that job.
What must the job interview for that have been like? Can you walk back and forth? Do you know the alphabet? Can you use your arms? We're good here. You start Monday.
Though you know, as I think about it, I have to admit, I don't know if I could have had Vanna's attendance record. I've never seen her with the flu, flipping a letter with a used kleenex, or injured, back and forth across the stage on crutches. If I had a schedule like that I'd have to imagine that with that kind of free time I'd get into some shit and have to miss a taping because I couldn't make bail.
Still, how fucking awesome would it be to have that job? I mean even by comparison, Alex Trebek didn't know all those answers but he did stil have to come across as smart. Doubly so because he's Canadian, and that shit takes effort. But pacing back and forth, tapping letters and clapping, I need to find a way to get that fucking gig.
posted by rpalmeira at 11:06 AM
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