King Crab

You probably don't realize this about me, but I really like king crab legs. And I'm really good at eating this. That and being damn near blind is probably why I'm not gay. See my crab eating skills would probably make me appealing to gay men, but being blind, I'd probably miss and the cock would end up in my nose or something. Porn stars get facials, I'd probably end up with an earful.