If You Teach a Ma to Fish

If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. If you teach a man to fish, he's going to fucking starve. I've seen you try to catch fish. Quite frankly, even the fish are laughing at you. At best, you might accidentally hook a fish that's on the aquatic version of death row for being a terrorist. And even that's not very likely.

I'd say you should just give a man a fish, it'll save both of you a lot of hassle. Except I don't know where you'd get a fish in the first place so both of you are pretty much fucked. Maybe you'll have better luck with chicken.