My true complaint about airport security.

Look, I want to be safe and secure when I travel too, but if I have to go through the whole hassle of standing in line to get an ID check, making sure I don't have a bottle of water with me, taking off my shoes and belt, extracting my laptop and putting all that shit into the little bins, then still potentially facing secondary screening where a guy who looks like a cross between a mall cop and a movie extra snaps on a rubber glove and handles my junk with a moist towelette that's somehow supposed to detect whether my balls were dipped in explosives, I might as well shove a balloon full of heroin up my ass. It seems like kind of a waste otherwise and really, I'm on the side of TSA, I want to make them feel like they're actually productive. Any kind of rectal probing is going to ruin your travel experience, might as well have a reason.

Plus, drug smuggling is about the only way you can afford a plane ticket anymore.