Christmas shopping boys vs. girls

Christmas shopping for boys (and because men are basically boys with higher credit scores, them as well) is easy. If it's shiny or you can explode it or you can injure yourself with it, it's a good gift. That's the only rule there is. Shopping for girls however is incredibly difficult. Clothes, you have to get the right size. If it's too small she won't wear it, if it's too big, she does this little psyche out thing and thinks that you think that she's too fat. They're picky about wallets and bags so even the things that you can screw up on size you screw up on. It's a lose-lose situation unless it's lingerie in which case it's more lose-win. But I digress. If you get candy it's either the wrong kind or she thinks you're trying to get her fat, if it's a book, it's one she already has/has read/hates/has burned in a protest to the oppressive male character. So I give up. I leave it to the gods. This year's Christmas present, I'm fate's bitch. I picked a random number between one an 16, walked down that asile, closed my eyes and picked something at random. So congrats my dear, you're getting dental floss and a tube of Crest for Christmas this year. Waxed, cinnamon flavored floss and some cavity protection. Merry Christmas.