Osama Should Make a Sex Tape

Osama bin Laden and the rest of Al Qaeda are always releasing new tapes. Only thing is that we never get to see the tapes. They only get released to Al Jazeera and they all seem like they follow the same script. "Blah blah blah, Death to America." Now this signals two things. First that Osama needs a new publicist. Because honestly, an office temp should be able to score better distribution than Al Jazeera, I mean really, get your fucking product out there. And second, it says that Osama should do a sex video. Not that I would watch it mind you but, Paris Hilton did a sex video and look how well her career is going. I bet that if Osama bin Laden did a homemade porno flick of him fucking a goat or something, that would get some fucking press. I mean it would be like those Tijuana horse fucking shows, kind of repulsive but the sort of thing that curiosity would drive you to see. At the very least it would show that his writers have evolved over time. The same lines over and over get stale, nobody listens anymore. If he could scream out a "DEATH TO AMERICA!" while delivering a money shot onto the backside of a goat, that would get some attention.