Wednesday, February 14, 2018


My kid's birthday was today. We ended up having a decent dinner, then I showed him the 1981 / 2015 movie Roar because I’m a horrible parent. Dinner was pretty good, steak needed a little more salt, and we ended up with a birthday pie, because I don’t believe in cake. I mean, I believe it’s a thing that exists, but I don’t think it’s necessarily the requirement of birthday desserts. I grant you, there are cupcakes but no cup-pies (though tarts come close) and there are Boston Cream Pies which are really cakes with cream filling because people from Boston are wicked retarded. But there’s also pot pie and no pot cake. Well, okay, there are pot cakes, but only in a few states like Colorado and California and he still needs to wait a little while on those, so we had a birthday apple pie with a small amount of candle wax because I’m slow in lighting candles. What was I saying, oh yeah, happy birthday kid, go screw yourself cake.

tangential to my believing that birthday pie is a superior dessert, we had a conversation about the Bill of Rights because he's in some PoliSci class that also gives you dual credit for college for watching the movie version of 1984, which somebody needs to explain to me how that's worth college credit. Anyway, he got like 4 1/2 out of the 10 (I count it as half because he flipped the fourth and fifth amendments (privacy vs self incrimination) and BTW he's taken like a semester of American Law so how the fuck do you mix those two up? I mean really? Also somehow he misconstrued the word "militia" in the 2nd Amendment to mean that you have the right to form a militia, which I am kind of in support of under this particular administration but is kind of beside the point. I swear to Dog, this fucking generation.... Donald Trump is our present, the children our our future, I need to invent time travel and go back to the mid 90's. At least government was reasonably competent, despite the rising partisanship. What was I saying? oh, yeah, so not even getting to the rest of the Constitution or anything, just the first 10A. I've changed my mind. We need voting restrictions and candidate minimum eligibility requirements. If you can't pass the test we give to immigrants you don't get to run for office. If you think the Bill of Rights is a guy named Bill with a bad turn signal, you don't get to vote. Okay, I'm done now, oh look, its Bushmills. Hello Bushmills. Goodnight Internet.


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