Midas

I don't think the lesson is so much that King Midas was greedy, but rather that he was just stupid. Any 15 year old male know's the whole "everything I touch turns to gold" bit is going to end with you having a shiny yellow prick.

What he should have said was that henceforth any dog I touch and any of its descendants for the rest of time shall shit 24 karat gold. Not only would he and his family have been set for a pretty long time but more importantly, it would save random joggers from soiling their shoes.