Segues
I was on a date the other day.
Okay, let's be honest, I wasn't on a date, just play along with the joke. That's how this shit works.
So I was on a date the other day and the chick I was on the date with asked me what my goal in life is. Look, I'm over 30, have a relatively stable paycheck. I don't really have any goals. I mean, maybe sleeping with two girls at the same time, but really more of a bucket list kind of thing rather than a goal. I don't fucking know what my goal should be. Most people don't. That's how they get people to articially inseminate Pandas.
You think there was a budding young USC film student out there who decided to try and corner the market for Panda pornography and another ardent environmentalist who was so worried about the future of the Panda that he decided to devote his life to jerking off Chinese bears? You don't need to be an environmentalist to do that. There are tons of gay guys on Hollywood Blvd that spend thir days jerking off Chinese bears. That shit's not a goal. It's what you do for a paycheck.
I don't want to make a big difference in the world. I don't want to marry the girl of my dreams; I don't want to marry the guy of my dreams, the guy I've been dreaming about lately is like 350 lbs. of muscle, has a shaved head and neo-Nazi tats and scare the bejezzus out of me.
So I guess if I had a goal in life, it would be this: to be the answer to a Jeopardy! question, as long as it doesn't involve the record for molesting sheep.
Okay, let's be honest, I wasn't on a date, just play along with the joke. That's how this shit works.
So I was on a date the other day and the chick I was on the date with asked me what my goal in life is. Look, I'm over 30, have a relatively stable paycheck. I don't really have any goals. I mean, maybe sleeping with two girls at the same time, but really more of a bucket list kind of thing rather than a goal. I don't fucking know what my goal should be. Most people don't. That's how they get people to articially inseminate Pandas.
You think there was a budding young USC film student out there who decided to try and corner the market for Panda pornography and another ardent environmentalist who was so worried about the future of the Panda that he decided to devote his life to jerking off Chinese bears? You don't need to be an environmentalist to do that. There are tons of gay guys on Hollywood Blvd that spend thir days jerking off Chinese bears. That shit's not a goal. It's what you do for a paycheck.
I don't want to make a big difference in the world. I don't want to marry the girl of my dreams; I don't want to marry the guy of my dreams, the guy I've been dreaming about lately is like 350 lbs. of muscle, has a shaved head and neo-Nazi tats and scare the bejezzus out of me.
So I guess if I had a goal in life, it would be this: to be the answer to a Jeopardy! question, as long as it doesn't involve the record for molesting sheep.
posted by rpalmeira at 1:05 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home