What's your sign?

Someone sent this to me recently. It's supposed to be an "accurate" description of me based on horoscope...I'd like to respond.

Virgo:
The Virgin - not quite but certainly lately.

Dominant in relationships - usually not

Sexy - about as much as a mantee could be i suppose

Someone loves them right now - yeah the fucking IRS really loves me right now. Assholes are raping me this year.

Freak in bed - damn skippy.

Always wants the last word - WORD.

Caring - sure why not.

Smart - not if i can help it.

Intellectual - see above.

Attractive - perhaps if you're blind?

Loud - more angry than loud.

Loyal - to a fault. Even when the crazy bitch was cheating on me.

Easy to talk to - wish I wasn't 'cause honestly, do you really think I give a shit?.

Hard to forget... - even though you wish you could.

Love at first sight - unless you're blind....

Everything you ever wanted - if you wanted very little.

Easy to please - are you shitting me? not a chance. Well, second though, that one's true. It's call whiskey.

The one and only - lets hope.

Ultimate sexiness - you know it bitch.