82 virgins

So some believe that in Islam if you die as martyr you will receive 82 virgins in heaven. My worry though is that you don't know if there's a loophole to that. Like for example, what if all 82 of them were virgins for a reason? What if they were all fat and ugly? You kind of need to provide a little more detail there. I mean 82 virgins is one thing, but 82 fat and ugly virgins or what if they were female pseudohermaphroite virgins? How well would that go over? See people, before you go blowing yourself up in the name of a religion, make sure you read the fine print.