Because I'm a fucking adult

It’s fun how you can use the phrase “ because I’m a fucking adult” to imply very different things about yourself, even when spoken with the same inflections.

If I want dinner to consist of a glass of wine and three macaroons, I can because I’m a fucking adult.

If I happen to be looking for a new pair of shoes for work and the kid in the store asks me “with or without laces” I have to reply “with laces please, because I’m a fucking adult.”

And then there’s the forty-five minutes mulling over how I might convince this blonde to come home with because it’s been a while since I’ve been a fucking adult.