101 Things
101 Things
Because nice even numbers are stupid, the list below is 101 things to do before I die. And guess which of these I've actually done.
1. Drink scotch that's older than I am
2. Actually get a book published, not just articles
3. Go to Vegas and blow $10,000 in a day
4. Base jump off of a national landmark, the CN tower would also count
5. Learn to fly. With or without a jetpack. I'm good either way
6. Learn to cook pastries
7. Grow, dry and, roast my own coffee (to go with the pastries)
8. Catch the roadrunner just so I know I'm smarter than the coyote
9. Pay off the US national debt. Then go visit the Peesident and say " you owe me one"
10. Visit the Gulf Coast side of Costa Rica stay a week then go to Cuba and stay two weeks
11. Learn to speak Hawaiian
12. Noodle for catfish, catch something huge then smack a redneck the face with it to remind him that noodling is the stupidest form of fishing ever and that catfish taste like a combination of mud and ass.
13. Get a building named after me
14. Use my cell phone's "theft deterrent" feature
15. Two hot redheads at the same time
16. See at least three of the Seven Wonders of the world
17. Drink an entire gallon of milk in under an hour
18. Pitch an idea to Bill Gates.
19. Live in Southern California for mire than a year. San Diwgo maybe, and not have to experience "the big one"
20. Take a flight without having to go through airport security
21. Win an election for public office
22. Get appointed to a different public office
23. Teach my son to drive stick for when the zombies attack
24. Spend a New Years Eve in a foreign country
25. Hook up with someone in a foreign country, English speaking is optional but not preferred
26. Solve a real murder ala Monk or NCIS
27. Perform stand up not on an open mic night
28. Learn an obscure martial arts form that barely anyone outside of the place it was created have ever heard of
29. Own an island
30. Eat a lobster the size of a small child
31. Get my lockpucking record down from 27 seconds to under 10.
32. Understand what the difference is between a key grip and a grip on a movie set
33. Slap someone in the face with a fish. Perhaps a salmon. Or maybe a catfish. Lake trout? Too many choices. Decide what kind of fish to slap a person in the face with
34. Understand why hot dogs come in packs of 8 but hot dog buns come in packs of 12. It is, I believe, the secret of life.
35. Answer a telemarketing call like I had just called a suicide hotline
36. Live to see the flying car be a reality
37. Rubbernecking at the scene of a flying car accident
38. Appear on the Daily Show if Jon Stewart is still around or host it if he isn't
39. Learn how to perform a psychic cold reading
40. Alaskan crab fishing. To be clear, I do NOT mean getting a lapdance in Juneau. I'm talking that Deadliest Catch stuff
41. Maintain a saltwater aquarium with at least one shark. Laser beam optional.
42. Learn to properly splice fiber optic cable
43. Launch a sattelite
44. Pull off a James Bond scale plan to take over the world
45. Slap a priest
46. Meet the Pope
47. Give another keynote or presentation and actually get to use the phrase "Google is my bitch!" in public
48. Raise some weird exotic animal like alpacas or emus
49. Drink the water in a third world country
50. Get good at reading Braille
51. When my service in a restaurant is for shit, punch my waiter in the throat. When they try to kick me out, argue that there's a "No Smoking" sign and I'm not smoking, but the "No Punching Your Shitty Waiter in the Throat" sign isn't there so......
52. Get one of those visor things the Reading Rainbow guy had in Star Trek TNG
53. Spend the entire day in bed with a beautiful woman
54. Play slack key guitar (well)
55. Play ukulele in a metal band
56. Stabilize the HPBX product. By stabilize, I mean you all need to stop bothering me about it.
57. Order Chinese food entirely in Chinese
58. Be respectful of Apple products without falling victim to the cult of Steve Jobs
59. Own a good Swiss watch
60. Wear an aloha shirt with a tuxedo jacket to a black tie event
61. I want to put "survive cancer" on here, but IT'S CANCER! So maybe just a bad case of the runs?
62. Kalua a pig.
63. Uncover the Colonel's secret recipe for KFC. Original recipe
64. Actually make it to the bottom of the stack of books in my "to read" pile
65. Go diving in the Maldives
66. Find the Hidden Valley where they make all that ranch dressing and them politely to just stop already
67. Write a jingle that gets stuck in your head. Like the Jeopardy! song.
68. Im not a violent person, but should I ever find myself in an armed insurgency, I'd want to be leading a group of militant Hawaiians reclaiming their land and kicking out the US
69. Convince Jessica Alba that she made a horrible mistake not marrying me
70. Judge final round extemp at a national tournament
71. Bring back my thought of the day posting and keep it up for at least two years without interruption
72. Complete a law degree
73. Punch a dolphin
74. Live to see my son be more sucessful than me
75. Speak at the TED conference. Topic: awesomeness.
76. Invent/create a new word
77. See the turn of another century and get more excited about it this time
78. Visit outer space
79. Bring about virtual reality that's better than real reality
80. Create something useful and funny at the same time. Like a dating website for people who like cheese called Kraft Singles
81. Break the sound barrier
82. Bring a snowball to my office so that I finally have a real idea of what a snowball's chance in hell is
83. Actually finish my taxes early for once
84. Run a start-up
85. Mentor someone without completely messing up their life/career
86. Build a time machine, go back and invest in Google
87. Play the"spot the Fed" game at the Black Hat conference
88. Never be afraid to give my honest opinion or tell truth to authority
89. Write my own obituary or at the very least get an obit in The Economist
90. Retrace Douglas Adams' travels from Last Chance to See and see at least one animal that he didn't
91. Get 50,000 rainbow bumper stickers and put them on every truck I can find in Texas with a gun rack
92. Meet Malcolm Gladwell. I owe that man a drink
93. Sail a ship around the world
94. Do something so awesome I can demand that I never have to pay taxes again. EVER. (and yes I'm stealing this from the movie Armageddon, there is nothing wrong with that)
95. Build a lightsaber. Use it to do household tasks like cut holes in drywall or carve a ham at Christmas
96. Tip someone (in the US) with foreign currency
97. Earn enough miles to fly around the world
98. Try to eat my weight in oysters. Actually doing it would be great, but at least make the attempt
99. Visit at least three of the following: New York, Rome, Leningrad, Helsinki, Papaete, Amsterdam. By visit I mean spend more than just long layover time.
100. Work up the spine to ask out someone I'm actually interested in.
101. Refer to a midget as a "fun-sized person" and not get my ass kicked
Because nice even numbers are stupid, the list below is 101 things to do before I die. And guess which of these I've actually done.
1. Drink scotch that's older than I am
2. Actually get a book published, not just articles
3. Go to Vegas and blow $10,000 in a day
4. Base jump off of a national landmark, the CN tower would also count
5. Learn to fly. With or without a jetpack. I'm good either way
6. Learn to cook pastries
7. Grow, dry and, roast my own coffee (to go with the pastries)
8. Catch the roadrunner just so I know I'm smarter than the coyote
9. Pay off the US national debt. Then go visit the Peesident and say " you owe me one"
10. Visit the Gulf Coast side of Costa Rica stay a week then go to Cuba and stay two weeks
11. Learn to speak Hawaiian
12. Noodle for catfish, catch something huge then smack a redneck the face with it to remind him that noodling is the stupidest form of fishing ever and that catfish taste like a combination of mud and ass.
13. Get a building named after me
14. Use my cell phone's "theft deterrent" feature
15. Two hot redheads at the same time
16. See at least three of the Seven Wonders of the world
17. Drink an entire gallon of milk in under an hour
18. Pitch an idea to Bill Gates.
19. Live in Southern California for mire than a year. San Diwgo maybe, and not have to experience "the big one"
20. Take a flight without having to go through airport security
21. Win an election for public office
22. Get appointed to a different public office
23. Teach my son to drive stick for when the zombies attack
24. Spend a New Years Eve in a foreign country
25. Hook up with someone in a foreign country, English speaking is optional but not preferred
26. Solve a real murder ala Monk or NCIS
27. Perform stand up not on an open mic night
28. Learn an obscure martial arts form that barely anyone outside of the place it was created have ever heard of
29. Own an island
30. Eat a lobster the size of a small child
31. Get my lockpucking record down from 27 seconds to under 10.
32. Understand what the difference is between a key grip and a grip on a movie set
33. Slap someone in the face with a fish. Perhaps a salmon. Or maybe a catfish. Lake trout? Too many choices. Decide what kind of fish to slap a person in the face with
34. Understand why hot dogs come in packs of 8 but hot dog buns come in packs of 12. It is, I believe, the secret of life.
35. Answer a telemarketing call like I had just called a suicide hotline
36. Live to see the flying car be a reality
37. Rubbernecking at the scene of a flying car accident
38. Appear on the Daily Show if Jon Stewart is still around or host it if he isn't
39. Learn how to perform a psychic cold reading
40. Alaskan crab fishing. To be clear, I do NOT mean getting a lapdance in Juneau. I'm talking that Deadliest Catch stuff
41. Maintain a saltwater aquarium with at least one shark. Laser beam optional.
42. Learn to properly splice fiber optic cable
43. Launch a sattelite
44. Pull off a James Bond scale plan to take over the world
45. Slap a priest
46. Meet the Pope
47. Give another keynote or presentation and actually get to use the phrase "Google is my bitch!" in public
48. Raise some weird exotic animal like alpacas or emus
49. Drink the water in a third world country
50. Get good at reading Braille
51. When my service in a restaurant is for shit, punch my waiter in the throat. When they try to kick me out, argue that there's a "No Smoking" sign and I'm not smoking, but the "No Punching Your Shitty Waiter in the Throat" sign isn't there so......
52. Get one of those visor things the Reading Rainbow guy had in Star Trek TNG
53. Spend the entire day in bed with a beautiful woman
54. Play slack key guitar (well)
55. Play ukulele in a metal band
56. Stabilize the HPBX product. By stabilize, I mean you all need to stop bothering me about it.
57. Order Chinese food entirely in Chinese
58. Be respectful of Apple products without falling victim to the cult of Steve Jobs
59. Own a good Swiss watch
60. Wear an aloha shirt with a tuxedo jacket to a black tie event
61. I want to put "survive cancer" on here, but IT'S CANCER! So maybe just a bad case of the runs?
62. Kalua a pig.
63. Uncover the Colonel's secret recipe for KFC. Original recipe
64. Actually make it to the bottom of the stack of books in my "to read" pile
65. Go diving in the Maldives
66. Find the Hidden Valley where they make all that ranch dressing and them politely to just stop already
67. Write a jingle that gets stuck in your head. Like the Jeopardy! song.
68. Im not a violent person, but should I ever find myself in an armed insurgency, I'd want to be leading a group of militant Hawaiians reclaiming their land and kicking out the US
69. Convince Jessica Alba that she made a horrible mistake not marrying me
70. Judge final round extemp at a national tournament
71. Bring back my thought of the day posting and keep it up for at least two years without interruption
72. Complete a law degree
73. Punch a dolphin
74. Live to see my son be more sucessful than me
75. Speak at the TED conference. Topic: awesomeness.
76. Invent/create a new word
77. See the turn of another century and get more excited about it this time
78. Visit outer space
79. Bring about virtual reality that's better than real reality
80. Create something useful and funny at the same time. Like a dating website for people who like cheese called Kraft Singles
81. Break the sound barrier
82. Bring a snowball to my office so that I finally have a real idea of what a snowball's chance in hell is
83. Actually finish my taxes early for once
84. Run a start-up
85. Mentor someone without completely messing up their life/career
86. Build a time machine, go back and invest in Google
87. Play the"spot the Fed" game at the Black Hat conference
88. Never be afraid to give my honest opinion or tell truth to authority
89. Write my own obituary or at the very least get an obit in The Economist
90. Retrace Douglas Adams' travels from Last Chance to See and see at least one animal that he didn't
91. Get 50,000 rainbow bumper stickers and put them on every truck I can find in Texas with a gun rack
92. Meet Malcolm Gladwell. I owe that man a drink
93. Sail a ship around the world
94. Do something so awesome I can demand that I never have to pay taxes again. EVER. (and yes I'm stealing this from the movie Armageddon, there is nothing wrong with that)
95. Build a lightsaber. Use it to do household tasks like cut holes in drywall or carve a ham at Christmas
96. Tip someone (in the US) with foreign currency
97. Earn enough miles to fly around the world
98. Try to eat my weight in oysters. Actually doing it would be great, but at least make the attempt
99. Visit at least three of the following: New York, Rome, Leningrad, Helsinki, Papaete, Amsterdam. By visit I mean spend more than just long layover time.
100. Work up the spine to ask out someone I'm actually interested in.
101. Refer to a midget as a "fun-sized person" and not get my ass kicked
posted by rpalmeira at 3:02 AM
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