thought of the day 2009 07 26 - Zodiac

Over the past few weeks I've watched all four seasons of the new Battlestar Galactica. One thing I like was the tie in to all the pseudo-Greek mythology, like how Capricorn becomes Caprica and they use the constellations as astral navigation points, etc.

Thing is though, I think the zodiac needs an update. I mean who the fuck has the job "water carrier" these days? No, we need an updated zodiac, something more modern, more appropriate. I suggest a couple of changes:

Gemini, we can keep them as twins but they should be up to date. Like the Barbi twins.

Virgo, I mean a virgin? Really? In this day and age? Even if you're hardcore Republican that probably just means an abstinence pledge and butt sex. This just needs to go. I suggest the condom. It's not a virgin but at least it's safe.

Sagittarius, who fires an arrow these days? How about the Marine sniper? or if you want to keep to more historical roots, go Italian and you can have the Carabinieri. Or perhaps the insurgent with the IED

Cancer I think we can keep as a crab but in homage to what is possibly the most addictive and unexpectedly entertaining reality TV shows, Deadliest Catch, it should be an Alaskan King Crab.

Aquarius, like I said, water carrier = lame. I suggest bartender. Doesn't that sound nice? I mean the guy who brings you beer is way better than the guy who brings you water.