thought of the day 2009 07 18 - the line I really want to use at Starbucks

Somewhere in the back of my mind, every time I walk into a Starbucks I want to say the following:

"Look, brew monkey, I need caffeine. I want a cup of coffee that doesn't suck, so you're going to find me a cup of drip that doesn't taste like Satan's urine, you're going to put two shots of espresso in it, and you're going to hand it to me. And if you even try to explain the difference between large and venti to me again, I swear to fuck, I will drag my exhausted carcass over this counter and throttle you with a sock full of French Roast until you have a fucking concussion. Coffee, now."