Tuesday, June 23, 2009

thought of the day 2009 06 30 - The Bible is for dumb people

I went to a school where we had mandatory chapel services. And for the most part that was fine. It gave me the opportunity to read the bible. And I have to say, I'm not impressed. If these are supposed to be the words given to humanity by a divine creator, we have way low standards. I mean for one thing God doesn't know how to tell time. People live for 900 years but God can create the world in 6 days? That just can't be right. If we figure that the human lifespan under good conditions is roughly 100 years, then attach that math to the whole global creation thing it's not 6 days it's more like a few hours. Like breakfast then you get an hour for lunch and finish up in the afternoon.

Except that God didn't take lunch, He got a whole day of rest. What the fuck is with that? God needs a nap? That's got to be bullshit. I mean look, I would agree that making a whole creation the size of the universe would be rather exhausting, but if you're an omnipotent being, you don't get a break. Plus, God got Sunday off right? so why are all the Christians praying to him on Sunday? It's his day off, he's not going to be listening to you. He'll be like me on the weekend. Phone starts to ring, I look at the caller ID and if it's work, it's going to voicemail. You pray to God on Sunday for damn sure it's gong to voicemail.

But then the other Abrahamic religions are slightly different. Jew's give him Saturday off and in Islam, Friday is supposed to be sacred, so that's a three day weekend, every fucking weekend. Plus you know he gets holidays. I mean Christmas, Easter, probably Good Friday. I don't think he gets Martin Luther King Day but still, He's got a regular four day work week and sometimes less. What kind of creator deity do you want working for you only half the week?

Until the faiths can resolve these problems I stand firm in my belief that the Bible was written for morons who can't read a clock or a calendar


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