thought of the day 2009 06 22 - alert levels

I want to be the guy in the White House who's job it is to set the terror alert level colors. I want to be the guy who gets to decide on any given day what color it is. I think it's kind of like being a weatherman but way more fun. It's all basically bullshit anyway and nobody ever believes you because most of the time it's just fake and a monkey throwing darts would have a better chance of accurately predicting the future. If I had that job, that's what I would do, I'd have a monkey to throw darts at a chart on the wall to decide what the terror alert level is on any given day. Plus I'd make up my own colors. I'd start introducing new colors like beige and magenta, I'd throw purple in there just to confuse people. I'd be great. I'd have the rainbow fucking coalition as mascots. One week it would be all different shades of brown then on Sat. just to make it interesting I'd throw in turquoise just to see what the TSA people do.